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The importance of a mentor-mentee relationship can’t be overstated.
Oprah Winfrey, who is arguably the most successful TV host ever, found a mentor in renowned author and poet, Maya Angelou. Speaking about Angelou’s impact on her life, Winfrey said, “She was there for me always, guiding me through some of the most important years of my life.”
Another example of a prominent mentor-mentee relationship is the one that existed between Warren Buffet and Bill Gates. When they first met, Buffett asked Gates some questions that gave him a new perspective on how he approached business. Buffett also taught Gates about philanthropy and was present as Gates built innovative solutions that improved people’s lives on a global scale.
These two stories show just how crucial and career-defining a mentoring relationship is. Not only will a mentor help you meet your goals, but you can also help the next generation of leaders by becoming a mentor yourself.
Read on to find out the responsibilities of a mentor and mentee, the benefits of a mentoring relationship, and some tips to maintain a successful mentor-mentee relationship.
What is a mentor-mentee relationship?
This is an interpersonal and professional relationship that exists between a mentor and a mentee (otherwise known as a protégé). The objective of this relationship is for the mentor to offer advice and guidance, and teach the mentee new skills that they can apply in their field of work.
Because a mentor usually has years of experience in a particular field, they can offer unique insights that can minimize the learning curve for the mentee and give them a headstart.
Although the dynamic between mentors and mentees may vary, a mentor isn’t a traditional teacher or coach. They don’t break down concepts into simpler terms that mentees can understand. Instead, they guide and support the mentee to achieve the goals that they’ve set for themselves. These goals are usually similar to what the mentor has already achieved in their career.
Main responsibilities of a mentor
One of the prerequisites of being a mentor is that you’ll need to have practical experience in a particular field so that you can help your mentee achieve their goals in a unique way that’s best for them.
As you start a mentor-mentee relationship, here are some responsibilities you have as a mentor:
Set realistic goals with your mentee
At the first one-on-one meeting with your mentee, you’ll need to set realistic goals you both want to achieve from the relationship. Write them down in a journal to refer back to throughout the duration of the relationship.
These goals provide directions and serve as a yardstick with which you’ll measure the success of your mentor-mentee relationship.
Hold your mentee accountable
Assign a timeframe for achieving goals and hold your mentee accountable for them. Accountability, in this sense, presents as encouraging them to meet deadlines, boosting their confidence in themselves and their abilities, and pushing them to build out their personal networks, among other things.
One of the most effective ways to hold your mentee accountable is to schedule weekly calls or meetings with them. At these meetings, the mentee will give you a recap of all they did during the week to achieve the goals they set. This gives you an opportunity to gauge their progress, listen to their complaints, and give them a pep talk that reminds them of their “why.”
Coach your mentee on skills you’re an expert in
As a mentor, chances are you have a lot of skills that you’re an expert in. While your role as a mentor is to guide your mentee, you should also know when to employ coaching techniques. If your knowledge aligns with your mentee’s goals, it’s imperative that you coach them to be adept at these skills.
For example, if you’re an expert in decision-making or a hard skill related to your shared industry, you could give your mentee specific examples and instances wherein you applied your skills. Tell them about the problem and the steps you took to solve it.
If you made any mistakes along the way, share them with your mentee, as well as how you rectified those mistakes. Then ask them to think of a situation where they’d need to apply those skills in their own careers.
Listen to your mentee
The most important responsibility of a mentor is to listen to their mentee. Since your mentoring relationship will likely be long-term, your mentee needs to feel comfortable enough to tell you whatever is on their mind with the assurance that you’re picking up on every word.
When you listen to what your mentee has to say, you’ll be able to ask questions to understand them better and offer the right advice. A good rule of thumb is to listen 80% of the time, ask questions 10% of the time, and spend the last 10% offering advice.
Offer constructive feedback
A good mentor provides their mentee with honest, constructive feedback that’ll help them grow personally and professionally. Whenever you give your mentee an exercise, make time to review their work and give them feedback.
It’s important that this feedback is positive, kind, and nuanced (without compromising on honesty). Give this feedback with the mentality that everyone approaches problems differently, and that your mentee is a person that can think independently.
You don’t want your mentee to feel like you’re insulting them, trying to place yourself above them, or trying to mold them in your image.
Main responsibilities of a mentee
While the mentor is in the position of authority in a mentor-mentee dynamic, the mentee still has to put in the effort if the relationship is going to work. Below are some of the main responsibilities of a mentee.
Have a clear idea of your objectives
As someone who’s looking to learn from your mentor, you know better than anyone the goals you want to achieve from the relationship. Some things may still be unknown, but share what you know you want with your mentor during your first meeting with them.
If you’re getting a mentor because you want to advance in your career, ask yourself what your career goals are for the next couple of months and the next couple of years. Giving your mentor as much information about your goals as possible helps them know the approach to take and the guidance to give you.
Be teachable
As much as your mentor’s duty is to guide you, you should also be willing to learn from your mentor. If you’re unwilling to learn, you won’t get much — if anything at all — out of the relationship.
A great way to show that you’re teachable is to approach each session with an open mind. Try to take initiative and be proactive with the guidance you receive.
Actively listen to your mentor and take action
When your mentor is speaking, practice active listening and communicate if you need clarification. This shows your mentor that you’re absorbing the information they’re giving.
Here are some ways to practice active listening:
- Take notes of important tips.
- Reiterate what your mentor says to make sure you understand it correctly.
- Don’t interrupt your mentor when they’re speaking.
- Ask questions at appropriate moments to gain more clarity.
- Take action on the tips your mentor shares with you and report back on the results.
Accept constructive feedback
As you take action and report your results, your mentor will likely give you some feedback. When they do, try not to take it personally. Oftentimes, this feedback is not an attack on your person or character. It’s simply a way to assess and improve your performance.
Receiving constructive criticism can be difficult and uncomfortable, but it’s an integral part of growth. Instead of getting defensive, try to listen with an open mind, thank your mentor for their honesty, and make necessary changes.
Note: In some cases, the feedback may be insulting and degrading, instead of being constructive. It’s important to know how to differentiate between these two kinds of feedback, so you can leave a mentoring relationship if it gets toxic.
Move on when the relationship is over
Like all learning experiences, a mentor-mentee relationship is one that will eventually end. That’s why you should develop a sense of independence during the mentoring process. This makes it easier for you to move on when you or your mentor feel like the objectives of the relationship have been realized.
Benefits of a mentoring relationship for the mentor and the mentee
For the mentor
If you’re a mentor, here are five benefits of having a mentee:
Increased interpersonal skills
As a mentor, your interactions with your mentee offer ample opportunity to build interpersonal skills, such as communication, active listening, and patience.
These three skills are important in a mentor-mentee relationship as they help you understand the mentee’s goals, ideas, and worries. It also helps you provide good advice, foster relationships, and collaborate with others more effectively.
Reinforced knowledge
During mentoring sessions, you’ll share relevant knowledge you acquired in your career or through life experiences. However, as you teach your mentee these skills, you’re also reinforcing that knowledge within yourself — especially if you’re teaching a skill you don’t use often.
New learning opportunity
While you may be the one dishing out advice, there are also things you can learn from your mentee. If you and your mentee come from different generations or backgrounds, they can teach you something you haven’t learned before. For example, you may have more experience in a specific field, but your mentee may know more about the latest trends or practices.
Better leadership skills
Since your job is to guide your mentee toward personal and professional development, you’re in a leadership position. Leadership skills are crucial in any role or profession, so a successful mentoring program proves that you’re efficient at managing others and helping them achieve their goals.
More recognition
If your mentee goes on to be successful, this shows how valuable and effective your guidance is. This helps your peers, colleagues, and higher-ups recognize the skills and knowledge you offer, which can result in better career opportunities and more people asking for your mentorship.
For the mentee
If you’re a mentee, below are four benefits of having a mentor:
Inside knowledge
Since mentors are usually seniors in their industry, they can share inside knowledge with you. For example, they can tell you about professional courses, training programs, and job opportunities. If they share job opportunities with you, they can also prepare you for the interview, and tell you more about the company culture, senior management, and salary.
Networking opportunities
Because of the time they’ve spent in the industry, mentors usually have an extensive professional network to expose you to. Getting access to important people in your field through your mentor can help your career progression.
Better leadership skills
With the guidance of a mentor, you can speed up your goal achievements by avoiding making mistakes that can set you back in your career. As you do that, your leadership skills will get better and you’ll develop the confidence to work in leadership positions.
Career renewal
Some people get mentors when they’re losing zeal in their careers and need some encouragement. If you’re like this, a mentor’s advice and guidance may be exactly what you need to develop a new sense of excitement and motivation to continue with work.
Tips for maintaining a successful mentoring relationship
Whether you’re a mentor or a mentee, here are some tips that’ll help you maintain a successful mentor-mentee relationship:
Maintain a schedule
To bring order to the relationship, a mentor and a mentee must agree on set times to meet and discuss what going on in the mentee’s career. Having a schedule shows that both parties are serious about the relationship and are willing to put in the work to ensure that it bears fruit.
Now, a mentoring session doesn’t have to happen every week, but it should happen a few times a month so that the mentor can keep track of the mentee’s progress and any new developments.
Note: While a fixed schedule provides structure to the relationship, it’s important that it’s flexible enough to allow for unforeseen events (busy time at work, illness, childbirth, etc.) that may happen to the mentor or mentee.
Check in with each other
In a mentoring relationship, a mentor and a mentee may not always be able to have physical meetings. That’s why both parties should decide on a communication platform through which they can check in with each other. They can even meet virtually through the platform.
For example, a mentee can occasionally send email updates to their mentor about their personal life and career — including anecdotes about how they’ve implemented the mentor’s advice. A mentor can send book recommendations and links to insightful articles that might interest and help their mentee grow.
Prepare before meetings
Before meeting up for a mentoring session, both the mentor and mentee should’ve prepared beforehand.
The mentor should prepare the topic they’d discuss as well as some notes on key points. The mentee, on the other hand, should take note of questions they want to ask and have a rough outline of the progress report they’ll share.
Doing this ensures that the meeting doesn’t run too long and shows that both parties have respect for each other’s time.
Maintain mutual respect
The foundation of every good relationship is respect. The mentor should regard their mentee with as much respect as the mentee regards them.
It is respect that will make a mentee listen to and act on their mentor’s advice. That same respect should influence the mentor to give their mentee effective advice and polite feedback that will improve their personal and professional lives.
When there’s no respect in a mentor-mentee relationship, the dynamic risks becoming bitter and toxic.
Be positive
No matter how much a mentor and a mentee have to cover during the tenure of the relationship, it's important to approach things with a positive outlook. The mentor should encourage and empower the mentee, and celebrate all their accomplishments, big or small. Recognizing and applauding a mentee's efforts can speed up their progress and get them to success faster.
Have a successful mentoring relationship with Together
Together is a mentorship platform that helps organizations set up mentorship sessions for their employees. In turn, this works to reduce employee turnover, drive better employee engagement, improve remote collaboration, and more.
This platform's algorithms match mentors and mentees based on their skills and goals. With Together's customizable agendas and calendar, mentors and mentees can have impactful conversations and achieve goals easily.
